


I'm Not Affraid (Of The Darkness Inside)

by call_it_a_miracle



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, It Just Wouldn't Have Worked With Her On The Picture, Lance (Voltron) Is One Tough Cookie, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lotor (Voltron) Being an Asshole, M/M, Mind Rape, Minor Allura/Lotor (Voltron), No Romelle, Please Don't Hunt Me Down, Shiro (Voltron) is a Good Boyfriend, The Paladins Are All Cool And Supportive (Kind Of (Not Really)), no hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-10 10:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15947414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/call_it_a_miracle/pseuds/call_it_a_miracle
Summary: For as long as he can remember, he’s had awful dreams from time to time. They got worse once he became a paladin, but he’s always managed to keep them at bay. Having Shiro sleeping next to him helped, but some nights he’d wake up in cold sweat, silently getting out of the bed without disturbing his boyfriend and grabbing whatever pair of pants he could find before going for a walk around the castle to clear his mind.Lately that doesn’t seem to be enough.Or: The one where Lance is desperate and no one seems to be able to help him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an extremely late birthday present for my best friend in the entire universe. Sorry it took so long, i promise i'll make it worth the wait!!!

Something is severely wrong here. Lance knows this, and it’s so obvious, yet he can’t quite point out _how_. 

The why is simple. Lotor is number one public enemy’s son. He’s not just any Galra- he’s the damn prince and he has first hand experience of the Galra Empire. That’s not something someone as ambitious as him can brush past. And hell yes, it’s obvious the dude is driven by ambition. All those magic words that seem to pour out of his mouth are poison as they slowly find a way to weasle into people’s heads until there’s nothing left but a desire to follow him. His stupid, graceful charm doesn’t help, either. 

Maybe it’s just that infuriating smirk or the way he preaches in a too-good-to-be-true way, but he knows it’s not right. It can’t be right. Because as much as the others may think, he’s never truly been much of an optimistic person. No, Lance is always prepared for the worst, or at least he’s expectant of it. And he knows that such an important game piece as Lotor can’t just waltz into the castle with a hand on his hip and a charming smile promising the annihilation of the biggest threat to the universe. It’s never been that easy and there’s no reason for it to start being that way now.

He tries to talk to Shiro about this, trusting that he would at least share a fraction of his feelings, but the older man just shrugs it off. 

“I don’t know, Lance. He does seem genuine about wanting to help us” Shiro says. He’s laying on his back in their shared bed, staring at the ceiling.

“But he’s Zarkon’s son!” Lance protests, sitting up and turning to face his boyfriend. 

“We don’t choose our parents, but we do choose what we do with our lives. Just accept that he’s trying to help” Shiro groans out, turning to face the wall and declaring the conversation well and truly over.

Lance stares at his back, helplessly biting his lip to stop himself from speaking again. It’s clear that Shiro doesn’t agree with him. 

So he keeps his distance, subtibly keeping an eye out for the others.

Or so he thought. 

~~~

It all started as nightmares. 

For as long as he can remember, he’s had awful dreams from time to time. They got worse once he became a paladin, but he’s always managed to keep them at bay. Having Shiro sleeping next to him helped, but some nights he’d wake up in cold sweat, silently getting out of bed without disturbing his boyfriend and grabbing whatever pair of pants he could find before going for a walk around the castle to clear his mind. 

Lately that doesn’t seem to be enough. 

He was tormented with visions almost every single night. Cold eyes and harsh words making him toss and turn until a slightly annoyed Shiro woke him up, or until he woke up on his own, trembling and choking down sobs. 

It got so bad he learned to dread laying in bed and not even Shiro could make the anxiety building in his chest go away. 

His boyfriend shot him worried glances, frowning at the dark bruises under his eyes. The lack of sleep affected his reflexes, and his already short attention span somehow got even worse. 

“Lance! You completely missed all of the targets!” Allura scolded him as he exited the training room, shoulders slumped and head hanging low. 

“I’m sorry” he mumbled, walking down the long hallway towards the kitchen. 

One night he was stumbling around the empty hallways, relishing on the peace around him when the faint sound of voices brought him to a distant room within the castle. It was so big he was confident that no matter how many nightly walks he went on, he would never finish exploring it all. 

The room’s lights were on and as Lance peeked inside, he saw Allura and Lotor talking while pointing at a strange rock that sat on a shelf at the far right. 

“You think the paladins will be able to do that?” Lotor asked, the smooth rumble of his voice causing unwanted goosebumps to appear on the exposed flesh of his arms.

“I think they are more than capable. _We_ are more than capable” Allura said, a soft, wistful smile on her face as she peered into Lotor’s eyes. 

“Are you sure? I mean, i know i have no right to comment but there seems to be a problem with one of them” Lotor frowned, looking genuinely worried. 

The princess sighed, the smile leaving her face as she lowered her gaze to Lotor’s chest. “You mean Lance”

“Forgive me for being so critical, but he does not seem to be as prepared as the others. In my honest opinion, he’s a liability to the team, specially if we plan to dismantle the entire Galra Empire”

Lance couldn’t hear Allura’s response. As soon as Lotor’s words sank in his head, he bolted. He ran and ran, thankful that his blue lion slippers absorbed any sound his heels could make against the floor, echoing through the castle and alerting the occupants of his presence. 

Finally, he reached an empty corner, letting himself slump against the wall. He pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping a trembling arm around them while his other hand pressed hard against his mouth to drown the sounds that escaped him. He doesn’t know how long he sat there, but when he finally found the strength to gather himself up and stumble back to his room, the lights were on.

He slowly opened the door, immediately spotting Shiro sitting on the edge of the bed looking more worried than ever. His eyes lifted to the door as it opened, letting a shaking Lance in. 

“Lance?” Shiro asked, standing up and walking towards his boyfriend. “Where have you been? What happened?” 

His voice was so soft Lance couldn’t hold back. A choking sound resembling a sob left his lips as he buried his face into Shiro’s chest. His boyfriend held him tight, not letting go. 

Eventually exhaustion got the better of him and before he knew it everything turned black. 

The next morning Shiro attempted to talk to him but Lance would just shake him off, blaming a pesky little nightmare for his breakdown. It wasn’t much of a lie, after all.

The nightmares kept coming, every single night without fail, and every single night he would wake up to Shiro’s iron grip on his hand, grounding him and keeping him sane. Still, he never seemed to be able to rest.

Luckily for all of them, they hadn’t had any serious missions as of lately. Their Galra ‘allies’ seemed to be doing their job and whenever there was something they had to take care of, either Keith and Shiro or Pidge and Hunk would get it done. They would throw worried glances at Lance and Shiro would just shrug them off, throwing the best reassuring nod he could manage. 

Lance tried to ignore it all, knowing that they couldn’t trust him in this state. Hell, he couldn’t even trust himself either. 

This last thought was reaffirmed when the hallucinations started. 

It was just small things at first. The sound of someone calling out his name when he was completely alone, phantom touches to his wrists and shoulders, awful smells that seemed to come out of nowhere. 

He blamed the lack of sleep. It had been a long time since he’d had a decent night of sleep, after all. And once he couldn’t hide it from Shiro anymore, he was shoved into a healing pod. 

He woke up after three days of lying there, completely unconscious. He was immediately met with five pairs of worried eyes.

“Lance!” Shiro said, carefully pulling the younger man into his arms. “Lance, how do you feel?”

Lance closed his eyes for a second, breathing in deeply. He felt good. Great, in fact. All those sleepless nights seemed more like a distant memory with the way energy coursed through his body like it had done a long time ago. 

“I’m good” He said, pulling away enough for his eyes to meet Shiro’s. “I’m really good” A soft smile appeared on their lips as everyone around them cheered. 

Once Lance regained his sea legs and was able to stand on his own he allowed himself to turn to his friends, noticing someone was missing. 

“Hey, guys? Where’s Allura?” Lance asked, keeping a firm grip on his boyfriend. 

“She’s with Lotor” Coran said, twisting his moustache between his thumb and index finger. “We received an update on the Galra while you were out”

Lance nodded, something bitter twisting in the pit of his stomach at the mention of the prince. 

“We’re going to land a surprise attack in a couple days. Think you’re fit enough for that?” Keith asked, eyeing him skeptically. 

Lance smiled reassuringly, warmth spreading in his chest as he realized it was the first flutter of happiness in a long time. “Yeah, i am” 

Once he proved himself in the training room under the scrutiny of every single occupant of the castle, he was officially welcomed back to the battlefield. 

And really, Lance has never felt better. Lying in his boyfriend’s arms in a blissful, dreamless sleep, nailing every single shot in Coran’s newest simulation, smirking at Keith after delivering a cocky reply, trying Hunk’s newest kitchen creation or playing videogames with Pidge. 

The next couple of days are bliss. Lance almost forgets about his episode, being reminded only by Lotor’s unsettling presence. It’s perfect, almost _too perfect_ but he shakes it off in favor of enjoying the first slither of happiness he’s had in a very long time. 

He pays close attention to their plan, occasionally interrupting his boyfriend for some actual good imput.

“What if instead of getting them from the inside we shove them out and then attack them? You know, make them panic or at least distract them and then hit them with everything we’ve got”

Shiro humms, considering it. 

“Are you insane?! That’s too risky! What if one of them manages to get out and alert other Galra cruisers?” Keith asks, frowning. 

Lance shrugs. “It’ll be five of us pinning them against a vacant planet, they don’t stand a chance”

“It does sound better than infiltrating their ships” Hunk says, Pidge nodding next to him.

“Attacking them from the inside means we can cause enough interference to block their communications” Keith insists, crossing his arms over his chest.

Shiro frowns. “Coran, what do you think?”

“We would have to change the whole structure of Lotor’s carefully thought out plan, but i’m sure he won’t mind”

~~~

They’re all in position, waiting for Lotor to set off the alarms that’ll force the Galras out of their ships. Once they’re out Coran will create a wormhole to transport the lions to them and, well, you know the rest. 

Except that once they reach the Galra ships, most of them are already too dispersed for the lions to be able to crowd over them. 

“Damn it!” Shiro curses, thinking quickly. “Lance, Keith, you two chase those out back, the rest of us will keep with the original plan. 

Lance resists the urge to slap himself, cursing under his breath as he follows Keith. 

They underestimated the number of ships. They fire back, managing to crowd them in and forcing them to land on the vacant planet. Once there, they’re somehow forced out of their lions and dragged into one of the ships. 

Guns are pointed at them as they’re asked various questions, mainly asking about the positions of the resistance. When they figure out none of them will talk, they don’t bother with torture. They settle with keeping Voltron and destroying their enemy’s spirits. 

The Galras point their guns at them and fire mercilessly. 

~~~

When Lance wakes up, he realizes he’s screaming. Warm tears run down his flushed face as his eyes focus on Shiro’s scared frown a few inches away from him. His strong hands are pinning him down on the bed as he keeps shaking Lance and speaking words he can’t hear over the sound of his own ear-splitting voice and rapid heartbeat drumming in his temples. 

The whole team is there, and without a second thought they lock him in a healing pod once again. 

When he gets out three days later, no one knows what to do. The dark bags under his eyes are gone, and his ashy skin regained its usual warm tone but the way he stares at one specific spot for hours is nothing but unsettling. 

The team keeps going on missions, not being able to afford a break just because one of the paladins is having a crisis of some sort. Allura takes over Blue, letting Lotor ride with her to all of their missions, taking out small floats of Galra ships. As the days go by, they don’t bother with shooting more worried glances at Lance, content that Voltron still stands strong. Lotor assures them that he’ll heal with time, placing a comforting hand on Shiro’s shoulder when his eyes flood with worry and sadness. 

Meanwhile Lance just… exists. He can’t quite call it living, not really. He feels like a zombie from the movies he used to love watching with his siblings. He’s numb, the pain too much to be felt. 

As the days go by, it seems to start getting better again except Lance isn’t as ready to let himself believe again. He starts napping, sometimes in the kitchen, other times in the first couch he can find, but he never really goes to the bedroom. Not when Shiro isn’t there. 

His boyfriend shoots him small smiles, noticing the small improvement. When they lay close together at night he can still feel Lance fidgeting and saying things under his breath but it’s not as bad. 

Slowly but surely, Lance holds himself up, too scared to be optimistic. And by the time he feels as normal as he can get at that point, the war is at its peak. Lotor somehow becomes the new leader of the Galras (well, not somehow. He’s the damn prince and that idiotic ambition of his…) and the paladins are currently doing everything in their power to take out those against him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is severely wrong indeed.

It’s a couple days later that it finally clicks. 

**Something is severely wrong indeed.**

And maybe he’s desperate. Maybe he doesn’t want to believe that he’s really losing it. Maybe he needs something that feels real, something to hold on to so that he doesn’t lose more of himself. Maybe it’s the first thing his tired brain can really work through. Whatever it is, he knows he has to follow through. 

He’s been through many life or death situations before. He knew, the moment he joined the garrison, that many things would be asked of him. He was aware of the sacrifices he’d have to make and he willingly went through. Then he became a paladin of Voltron, and everything got a thousand times more real. He still accepted it. In fact, he was eager to become a soldier, a hero, and so far he can say that he has. Even though he has his weaknesses, even though he’s not as strong as he wishes he were, he has lived through so much in his short life he knows it’s gotta be worth something. 

So how in the hell did all of this happen? Yeah, sure, he’s been under a lot of stress lately, but it’s been worse before. Why didn’t he lose it back then? Why is he responding like this, especially now that he is surrounded by people that believe in him and support him through everything, just as he believes and supports them back? 

And the answer, non surprisingly, is that it all happened because that system of trust was broken when Lotor first waltzed into the castle. The moment the prince showed vulnerability before them, everything crumbled. The team welcomed him with open arms, and the chain keeping them together broke. 

It really can’t be a coincidence that all of this is happening to Lance, the only person in the castle that doesn’t trust Lotor or any of their other so-called ‘allies’. It really can’t be. And now, by some miracle the guy successfully gained control of the entire Galra empire? 

The guy who for some reason has this ridiculous fascination with All Things Altean? It really doesn't make sense at all. Ok, sure, he’s not the only one with mixed lineage. Keith has some Galra in him, but that’s something completely different. Shiro basically raised Keith, and Keith has shown no signs of wanting to become an evil mastermind. Yeah, he may have his disagreements with Lance, but it’s all in good spirits. Lotor, on the other hand, has more than enough reasons to be potentially worse than his father. And the fact that he successfully got into Allura’s head is so much more terrifying now that he holds power in both Voltron **and** the Galra Empire. One single snap form his long fingers and it would be over for all of them. 

And the worst part is that the team doesn't seem aware of just how dangerous this whole game is. No one except Lance. 

He has to give it to him, the plan is brilliant. He’s got all this power and the only person doubting him is being considered mentally indisposed. There’s no better way to convince the others that there really isn’t anything wrong going on other than having the coo coo blurt what sounds like nonsense to whoever can hear him.

So Lance stays quiet. As much as it pains him, he just sits there and pretends to be as vacant as possible while watching carefully over everyone. He sits there, pretending to be lost in deep thought, sleeping or pushing food around his plate whenever Lotor so much as breathes inside a room.

Still, he understands he can’t follow the prince’s every move so whenever he’s with Allura, or anyone else really, he presses himself to Shiro’s side or silently reads through the information they’d gathered from their latest missions. 

He does everything he can without raising any suspicion, afraid that if he shows the smallest bit of improvement Lotor will do whatever it is he’s been doing to him so they can throw him back into a healing pod. 

After a few late nights overhearing conversations between Allura and Lotor he puts together pieces of information as a giant evil puzzle. Lance may not be a master alchemist or even slightly good at Earth chemistry, but he picks up a thing or two. Apparently they’re trying to use Altean alchemy to use quintessence. From the technical terms they use, Lance can deduce they want to unify both Galra and what’s left of Altea and finally bring peace to the universe. Something like that. 

He knows quintessence is some powerful stuff. Hell, everything around him is powered by it, so the quantities they’ve been talking about would be enough to destroy the entire freaking universe. All this power in Lotor’s hands would mean the end of everything. 

It feels like time moves even slower than it has been for the past couple of years as Lance keeps track of Lotor’s movements. He’s especially attentive to where he goes, afraid he’ll get even slightly close to a source of quintessence. Luckily, if he looks on edge, no one comments on it. 

Eventually, he manages to find Lotor somewhere deep inside the castle, talking to someone. The voices on the other end don’t sound familiar to Lance, so he listens even more closely. 

“Everything is ready. I’ll meet you in 53 ticks with the ship. Do not engage until we all reach our destination”

_Well that sounds suspicious._

Without thinking much of it Lance runs to find his boyfriend. Shiro is sitting in what would be one of the castle’s living rooms reading whatever book Pidge managed to download for him. He looks relaxed, content, and Lance hesitates for a second before barging in and practically knocking the tablet from his hands. 

“Lance? What is it?” Worry laces his voice as he meets Lance’s frown. 

Lance takes a deep breath before speaking. “Look, i know i’ve been out of it but i need you to listen to me and listen to me well” 

The urgency on the young man’s eyes has Shiro sitting up, prompting Lance to speak. 

Lance talks quietly, afraid Lotor or any other galra ‘ally’ could hear him. He explains everything, from the nightmares to the hallucinations to his recent discoveries. He doesn’t let any detail out, even though he knows Shiro is aware of most of the early stuff. He talks and talks and Shiro’s face remains like a stone throughout the whole thing, making Lance stutter through the last of it. 

Finally, Shiro sighs, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. 

“Lance…” _Oh…_ “Look, i know this has all been very hard on you but-”

“No! Please listen to me!” Lance says, knocking Shiro’s hand off his shoulder to place both of his on Shiro’s to shake him. “Please! I am not making this up!”

“Uh what’s going on?” 

Lance turns to find Keith and Hunk standing on the other side of the room, concerned frowns on both their faces. 

“Nothing, everything’s fine” Shiro says with the most reassuring half smile he can muster.

“No! No it’s not!” Lance protests, shaking Shiro a bit more. “Something bad is going to happen and we can’t just sit around and-”

“Woah, hold up” Hunk says, slowly approaching Lance. “What are you talking about?”

And so Lance repeats the whole thing, forgetting about trying to be discreet. He flails his arms around in desperation, silently begging for someone to believe him. 

“Soooo you think Lotor is really going to steal the quintessence and destroy the universe or something?” Keith said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Basically, yes!” 

Keith doesn’t even try to hide his annoyance, rolling his eyes as he lets out a long sigh. “Look, i don’t know what’s been going on with you but you can’t just-”

He’s interrupted by the castle lights flickering. _They never do that._ Lance slowly rises from the couch, squinting at them.

“Uh, guys? What’s going on?” Hunk asks, deep frown knitting his eyebrows together. 

Suddenly an alarm goes off, startling all four of them. 

“What the-” Once again, Keith is interrupted. 

This time it’s Shiro’s confused voice. “I’ll go check it out” He stands from his place on the couch and starts making his way out of the room, but when he feels Lance following close behind him, he stops and turns around. His face is stern as he rises an accusing finger and softly pokes at Lance’s chest. His eyes turn into ice stones as he eyes his boyfriend.

“You stay here. Don’t move or else i’ll have you restrained” 

The words are like knives digging into him. His stomach drops and he finds himself too shocked and hurt to say anything, and so Shiro turns back around and leaves the room with Keith following behind him. 

A hand sets hesitantly on his upper arm and he lets himself be pulled back to sit on the couch. 

“It’s alright, Lance” Hunk says quietly, squeezing his arm. “You’ll be alright” 

_No, i won’t. And neither will you._ Lance can’t bring himself to say it out loud, instead he just stares at the empty hallway where he can still hear the echo of footsteps as they pound hurriedly on the cold hard castle floors. 

The lights still flicker around them, and after God knows how long Pidge stumbles into the room. 

“Guys? Where’s Shiro? There’s something wrong! I’m locked out of the Castle’s system!” she says, her eyes frantic as they dance across the screen in front of her. 

“He went to look for Allura and Coran, i guess. Him and Keith left a few ticks ago when it all started. 

Pidge dares to lift her eyes for a split second, falling on Lance’s vacant stare. A worried frown sets deeper between her eyebrows. Lance feels guilty for putting all those concerned frowns there, feeling them dig painfully into his ribs. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over it. It’s too much, the memory of his team’s faces looking at him like _that_ , Shiro’s words…

No he, can’t think of that right now. _Focus, Lance!_

As Pidge opens her mouth to say something, the deafening screech of an alarm interrupts her. It’s something they’ve never heard before and the panic that floated around them finally settles in their stomachs. 

“Ok, Lance let me take you to your room” Hunk says, standing up and effortlessly dragging Lance with him. He shoots Pidge a glance that says _i’ll be right back, please don’t go anywhere_ before sprinting down the hallways with Lance in tow. 

Lance just goes along with him, knowing that they won’t listen to him, much less trust him as a teammate with whatever’s going down right now. 

“Just stay right here, ok? We’ll come back for you once we figure out what’s going on” Hunk says, his voice soft yet panicked. Lance just nods, settling on his and Shiro’s bed. 

Hunk spares one last look at his best friend before rushing back to a panicked Pidge. “Still nothing?” He asks as he stands by her side. 

“No! I don’t know what’s-” 

“Paladins!” Alura’s voice echoes through the castle’s speakers. “Get to the cockpit! Now!”

~~~

Lance grabs fistfulls of the sheets beneath him at the panic in Alura’s voice. A small part of him begs for him to have been wrong and this was all just one of Coran’s simulations, but it was quickly drowned by screams of panic and anguish. His team is out there, in the greatest potential danger they’d most likely ever come across and there’s nothing he can do. 

He would give anything to be out there, backing his team up, saving the universe. Anything to have Shiro in his arms, telling him how sorry he was for his earlier words. Anything for his team to finally accept that Lotor isn’t what they thought he was, anything to take that asshole down. 

He really would give anything, no matter how they all made him feel before. He would ignore the stares, the annoyed eye rolls, everything, just to protect his newfound family. 

He sighs, frustration making tears well up in his eyes. 

…

 **No.** He can’t just sit here, feeling sorry for himself while they are risking their lives out there. He’s well aware that he’s in no condition to go out there and risk them even more, but **he can’t just sit here and do nothing.**

~~~

“What is going on?!” Hunk asks as him and Pidge enter the room, the youngest paladin still typing frantically on the screen before her. 

Allura and Coran are standing by another screen, frantically typing away while Shiro and Keith stand next to them, concerned frowns settled in their otherwise stone cold glares. 

“I don’t know! The system was somehow blocked! I can’t-”

“I’m in!” Pidge practically shouts. All eyes turn to her as relief sinks for a few seconds before going back to a confused frown. “Hey Allura, did Lotor mention something about meeting with allies?” 

Everyone turns to her. “No, he didn’t mention anything about borrowing one of the castle’s ships”

Coran’s eyes return to the screen as he begins typing. “Aha! He’s heading to these coordinates” he says, displaying a map on it. 

“Why is he headed to a vacant planet?” Keith asks, stepping forward.

“Maybe he’s just running some errands?” Hunk says, desperate hope clawing to his words. 

“Wait, Coran, reduce the scale on the map” Shiro says, squinting at the screen. Coran follows, displaying a wider view of the sector. “Why is he so close to…?” a soft gasp leaves Shiro’s lips as disbelief clouds his features.

“Shiro?” Keith asks. 

The man curses under his breath as he turns to leave the room. “Paladins! Get to your lions, now!” 

“What? Why? Shiro, what’s going on?” Pidge asks.

“I’ll explain everything, i promise. Just get ready, now!” 

~~~

A few ticks later they’re on their lions, listening closely as Shiro tried to explain to Pidge, Allura and Coran what had happened earlier with Lance. 

“Wait, so you’re saying that Lance somehow managed to figure this whole thing out?” Pidge asks, her eyebrows nearly reaching her hairline. 

“Yes, and i didn’t listen to him” Shiro says sorrowfully. His jaw is clenched and his shoulders are almost up to his ears. Rage and regret soar in him as he desperately tries to keep himself focused on the mission. 

“Shiro, it’s not your fault” Keith said, shuffling uncomfortably in his seat. “I mean we all thought he was losing it” 

“Yeah, whatever Lotor did, it was very convincing” Hunk said, staring sadly at the controls in front of him. 

“We still don’t know if Lotor _is_ betraying us. He might just be collecting more information from our allies” Allura says, though her voice doesn’t sound as convincing. 

“Come on, Allura. You know this is too perfect to _not_ be true” Keith grunts out, staring at the little red dot on his map as they got closer and closer to Lotor’s location. 

“I’m just saying we can’t be certain until-” 

“Guys” Pidge interrupts her. “Lotor’s on the move” 

“Where is he headed?” Shiro asks. 

“He’s headed to- Oh no” 

“Damn it!” Shiro curses under his breath. 

~~~

“Coran!” Lance screams as he reaches the cockpit. 

“Lance?! What in the quiznack are you doing here?! You’re supposed to be in your room!” Coran briefly turns from the multiple screens before him to scold at Lance. There’s already too much on his plate for him to also have to deal with the blue paladin. 

“No, you don’t understand! I knew about this!” Lance says, frantically looking at the different maps and pictures to make up for all the Altean he most definitely can’t read. 

“Yeah right. Just, please, go sit somewhere and let us handle-” 

“Lance? Is that you?” Shiro’s voice interrupted him. There was a slight static interference, but Lance has never heard the older man’s voice sound so sweet. 

“Shiro! Shiro listen to me, you can’t let Lotor escape!” Lance said, turning to the screen that displayed his boyfriend’s face. 

“We won’t, we won’t. I promise” Shiro said. There was a beat of silence occupied by static before “Lance, i’m so sorry. I should’ve listened to you. All of this is my fault” 

“Kashi don’t you dare put any blame on you. This is no one’s fault but Lotor’s” Lance stared sternly at the screen. The bags under his eyes and the frown between his eyebrows made him look ten years older, and the heavy weight of his stare was enough for Shiro to bite back a response, instead turning to look at the map where Lotor’s position kept getting closer and closer to the quintessence field. 

“Shiro, how are we even going to stop him?” Keith asks. 

“Guys!” Pidge voice breaks through. “More Galra ships incoming!” 

“What?” Allura says, astonishment written all over her face. 

“Looks like he’s got back up” Shiro says, his eyes dancing around the map displaying at least a dozen little red dots approaching the quintessence field. 

“You have to get there before them!” Lance says, staring at the same map. 

“Lance’s right” And oh, those words do feel _good_ now, even though the younger man can only hear them over static. “Come on, team! We can do this!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It feels the same, but it's still different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short but i didn't want to ruin it with loooong paragraphs. Hope you guys like it! 
> 
> Once again sorry to my best friend in the entire universe for taking so long. Thanks for being such a good, patient noodle :p

When you are a teenager stuck in space you learn to appreciate the little things in life. Like the fact that you get to eat nice tasting food every once in a while or that the new alien race you’ve met is actually very friendly and cool. 

You also learn to fear the little things, like when an alarm goes off in the middle of what your Earth clock says is night time or when you forget to recalibrate your weapons. 

Lance never really liked school, mainly because he had a hard time handling things like maths or history, but he had to admit he did learn a few things that helped him out a lot out here. Though no matter how much he thought he’d learned at the garrison, nothing, _nothing_ would’ve come close to what he’s learned here. 

Teamwork being one of the biggest things. He always considered himself to be a big social butterfly, making friends everywhere he could. He genuinely enjoys talking to people and spending time with them, specially when he is close to someone like how he was with Hunk when he first joined the garrison. Even though they were training for different things, they built a strong bond that followed them to the craziest adventure they could’ve gotten themselves into. 

And it was the same with the rest of the team. All these very different people that somehow got themselves involved in an impossible situation managed to form bonds that surely will last a lifetime. Because yes, they are different, but they complete each other. Together, they build something so strong and powerful, they protect the universe and establish peace wherever they go because they are one. 

Still, it has taken them a long time to be like this and they still have an awful lot to learn, but just like everything else in the universe they grow and evolve and better themselves to become even more strong and even more powerful. An unstoppable force to defend the universe. A family. 

“Lance, i hope you can forgive us for the way we acted” Allura says.

They’re all flying in their lions since the castle had been destroyed. The battle had been rough, hope had been lost more than once and wounds would take a long time to heal but they’re ok. They’re alive and together and that is all that matters.

Lance tells them this, holding the biggest smile he can muster. He can’t say it’s really all fine. He was hurt, both physically and emotionally, and he’s not sure he can be all forgiving so fast. But he’s willing to try and he’s willing to be truly positive for the first time in his life now that he knows that all this can go to shit faster than he can really understand. He doesn’t mention this to the others, knowing that their hopes lie on their ability to reach Earth and find a way to bring themselves back to full strength.

Shiro barely leaves his side after this. He always keeps his eyes on him however he can, and always, _always_ asks questions. **Is this alright? Do you need something? What do you think of this?**

It gets kind of annoying at first, but Lance can tell his boyfriend is trying so he just indulges him. He answers the questions and even asks some questions of his own. And soon they build this new dynamic, they learn to communicate with words and gestures that hold a lot of promise. 

The team goes back to it’s usual routine. Or as usual as it can be considering the circumstances. Except that this time, they’ve all grown and learned a little more. And Lance loves it.

After all, it’s good to appreciate the little things in a crazy, adventurous life.


End file.
